Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize