Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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