dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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