I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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