my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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