Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize