oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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