dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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