Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
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I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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