Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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