i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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