she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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