i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Two words: blizzard sex
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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