i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
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Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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