A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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