Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize