I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize