i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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