So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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