i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize