Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize