i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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