He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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