I'm jealous of your bromance
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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