sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You're my little dorito
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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