Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize