i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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