covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
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Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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