Don't you send me to vm
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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