found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize