What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
