remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Can I color on your dick again?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize