Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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