Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize