All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize