??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
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So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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