I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize