she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize