im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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