But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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