Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
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i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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