i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
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so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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