No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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