I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
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I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
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I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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