we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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