Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize