Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize