my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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