omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
MIDGETS
????
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize