Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
They left me at home... I'm a liability
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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