They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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